[:>|::Any Dream Will Do..::|<:]: weirdd

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I seriously should not be blogging at this point of time. I should be studying my neale's disorder of the foot religiously and not get distracted by facebook..people's blogs and stuff. seriously. what the crap.It's just like I am feeding on spices of other people's life because I do not have my own. And i seriously don't. Espcially at this point of the year.

I realised the main cause of my insomnia the past few days which I chanced upon was really...coz of Wah tak (my panda soft toy which act like a bolster). which i hugged it those nights. and I couldnt sleep. at all. not until 4 am in the morning. just imagine how flustered i was since I had to wake up at 7am the following morning. The subsequent night, I was so tired I just fell straight onto my bed and SLEPT throughout. lol. That was when I realised...maybe..wahtak was the main cause..and i tried for the subsequent nights..and it works. haha.. weird huh, the power of the subconscious mind.

about that..Well..i must say...really do need some time to get use to being single again. You cant help but to think that the one person who cared and loved you isn't there anymore. You can't help thinking you are the one who pushed him away and why are you still thinking about him. You can;t help thinking what the hell is he doing. You also can't help clicking his facebook wall and profile to see what has he been doing. Sheesh. Terrible.

Seriously, how weak can I get. haix. but really. learning to let go might not be a bad thing after all. At least, I don't get so emotionally worked up tat frequently. I don't get so strained and stressed by being 'kiap' between my family and him. I don't have worry why is there a frown on his face. I don't have to think why is this happening to me. I don't know. After reading my friend's blog on how much she missed her bf, I wonder if I was too weak that I gave up on us. BUT I have to convince myself..that whatever i have done wasn't wrong. There's no comparison in the first place since different people are involved. I have to remind myself the reason why.

And that's why I decided to let go.